The hunter's... duffel bag.

Somebody asked me about my kit. Let's see:

1. A black leather duffel - forget cool gadget boxes with little pockets for everything. I chuck everything in a black leather duffel. Black because it's less visible if you have to ditch it in a shrub at night, and leather because, well, it lasts. And blood cleans off it really nice with some Kiwi leather cleaner.
2. Grave stakes - A grave stake, as described earlier, is a wooden (ash) stake that was originally shaped like a cross to serve as a grave marker, consecrated for use in blessing the dead. It no longer matters whether or not it has the cross-bar, so long as it once did. (Hey, I don't make the rules). I make mine out of ash chair legs, which I order special from a reputable furniture dealer, so I know they're really ash. I carry 4-5 at a time, because they have a tendency to get lodged in ribcages.
3. A mallet - I need this for driving grave stakes.
4. A water gun - I like the old Super Soaker 100. I found it with some of my brother's childhood things. It's a simple, pump-action 1/4 gal. model that was popular in the early 90s. You'll understand why it's useful when I add...
5. A half-gallon of holy water - Unload a quart of this into a sleeping vamp's face. It's fucking sweet. With the burning, and the unholy screams? Priceless.
   
6. A crossbow - A good crossbow should cost at least $600. Mine, a custom-built Horton with an ash stock (measured to fit just right in the crook of my arm) and a silver heel, was $7000. But most of that's just showing off. Hey, I get few kicks in this line. I consecrated my crossbow, and carved a cross into the stock. Most of that was for effect, but you never know.
   
7. Bolts - Ash shafts, silver heads. Pink, synthetic feathers. (Hey, that's all the guy had when he built them.) These are a custom job; they stopped selling them on eBay. I use a woodburning kit to burn cross-shapes into the shaft. The crosses don't do anything, but the vamps are afraid of them. That way, when I miss (which is often), I get to watch them look down at the shaft in their gut and scream like a girl while they try to pull it out. Again, few kicks. I carry a quiver of 20 or so bolts, and I go fetch them when the vamps dead (they're $22.50 a piece). These are consecrated.
   
8. Sawed-off shotgun - last-ditch defense. You get close enough to a vamp to use this, and you're probably already dead. But a round to the chest'll slow them down, and you can tear up limbs with buckshot faster than they can heal them. Might buy escape time. Mine was on sale at WalMart - I got it and the hacksaw for $90. The buckshot is consecrated (I'll repeat some earlier advice: hunters should get ordained. Imagine asking a priest to bless your shotgun shells).
   
9. Crosses - I cover myself in crosses. Around my neck, in my pockets - little wooden crosses everywhere. I have hundreds in a box; I toss 'em in odd places like mothballs: couple in the duffel, couple in the closet, couple in the car. I buy them in bulk from this family in Mexico. You never know when fumbling across one might save your life. As far as I know, crosses don't actually harm the vamps; but they scare the shit out of them.
   
10. A machete - My machete was pricey - I wanted good steel - but it's still a fucking machete. Nothing particularly interesting. It slices, it dices, it scares the shit out of witnesses. I blessed mine, mostly because I like saying "holy machete."
11. 8 oz. human blood - I carry this in a water bottle; it's the vamp equivalent of carrying a steak around to distract guard dogs. Fledgling vulgaris are far more hungry than they are smart.
    
12. T-shirt, electric razor, deodorant, bar of soap - Because you never know when you might have to scrub down. A whore's bath is a hunter's best friend.
    
13. A roll of $20s - Some methods of killing vamps leave bodies. When this happens, it's usually better to leave before John Law shows up. Usually, they won't keep looking for us; their "victims" are several weeks decomposed, so they have nothing to rely on but eyewitnesses who claim the corpse was munching on folks. Still, a roll of $20s is a necessity - it's a small enough denomination to not rouse suspicion, but enough of them will get you across state lines and into a shitty Motel 6.
14. Marlboro Reds (5 packs) - A reminder: I don't hunt vamps at night. Why? Because I have an IQ above 70. I do, however, stakeout at night (no pun intended), and that is nicotine-driven work.
15. Peppermint oil - Shut up. It masks the human scent, okay?
16. Condoms - Because I'm not always working (Of course, the condoms have passed their expiration date, so I must not be doing much of anything else, either).