So I'll answer questions. This one's from comments:
What was ur training like as an apprentice? How big is your guild? Are there other guilds for vampyr hunters in the US?Training? Training sucked rectum, if you want to know the truth. Somehow (and don't ask me who they had to screw to get this done) they get us into Army basic training. That sucked, but I won't bother tell you about it, because there are about 7 thousand movies out there to mislead you about how noble and personally enriching that is. So watch them, and then you can imagine in your head (80s sports montage-style) my pseudo-military training. You'll be wrong - basic is about 20% dirt, 20% sweat, and 60% simply getting fucked around by guys who yell a lot - but whatever.
After basic, I got a mysterious "undesireable" discharge, declaring me "unfit for military duty." Thanks, assholes. Couldn't you have arranged for a more flattering discharge?
Then came Guild Academy. That was no sweat. They had us in these community college classrooms (the Guild doesn't have offices in the U.S.), and they taught us about vamps - mythology, scientific fact, case histories, theory - boring classroom shit for about a week.
Then came weapons. They dragged us out of bed at 5:30 a.m. and found an endless supply of abandoned warehouses, silos, and slums for this crap. They essentially told us to forget about guns (then what the fuck was that Army shit all about?) and focus on crossbows, compound bows, and long blades. We had these wooden bo-ken for blades, and I spent most of the next five weeks covered in long, thin bruises.
No combat training. You know why? Because fuck fighting, that's why. There's no way you'll win in hand-to-hand combat with a vampyr. No way. I don't care how tough you are. Your best bet is to a) keep your distance (hence the projectile weaponry), or b) kill 'em while they sleep. I mean, I've sliced up a conscious vamp or two in my crappy career, but only as a last resort... and I nearly shit my pants every time.
Then, after weeks of fighting and shooting shit and setting stuff on fire, they put a Bible in your hand and send you to seminary. It's the worst anti-climax of all time. You spend three weeks reading the Bible, and saying "Jesus, this, Jesus, that," and learning benedictions and shit, and then you're ordained. But here's the stupid thing - they have you ordained by a Guild-friendly church official, because real seminary takes years to complete, and they don't want any church to have you on books. But if they were going to cheat on it anyway, why'd they make me read the Bible stuff? That's a big fucking book! I mean, New Testament, yeah - I should probably know that stuff. But Deuteronomy? First Samuel? What the hell did I need all that for?
And then you're supposed to be an apprentice. You follow the real hunter around for two years, hunting and stuff. But that didn't happen for me, 'cause the Guild is having increasing problems with recruiting. After seminary, they shipped me out to my first assignment with nothing but a roll of bills and some vague instructions. And that, my friends, was training.
As to your other question, I do not belong to a guild. I work for the Guild. As in, there's only one of them, and it's supposedly worldwide. There have been splinter groups over the years, but basically it's just the Guild.
And a hunter really shouldn't work without the Guild. Some are enticed by all the dusty books and lore into thinking it's some big destiny shit, a sacred calling. They leave the Guild and go off to be "rogue hunters." But really, it's all stupid. All we are are glorified dog-catchers, and the Guild helps to take care of some of the nastier aspects (vampyr bodies, for example, and bail money when necessary).
I don't really know how big the Guild is. It's not secret, I've just never thought to ask. I know that each state (except for Hawaii, which is naturally quarantined against vampyr infestation) has at least one hunter, and that we often travel to other states to assist there. In my training class, there were seven others. As for the rest of the world... fuck, I don't know.
8 comments:
Ahhh...Reverend Krauss. I see you've made quite a name for yourself with your plithy little commentary about, what did you call us? Ah, yes. Vampyrs. I'm not sure what sort of lies and trash the guild is feeding you, but let me assure you, you are just cleaning up their mistakes. I'm sure you'll simply brush this off as psychobabble, however, this tidbit may entice you to lend credence to my...comment.
The eyetooth of the common vulgaris has the capacity to become elongated, in certain subspecies of up to six inches. The common elongation of course is two to three inches beyond the gumline. The interesting fact is that the puncture teeth themselves are hollow, and allow the vulgaris to feed without digestion of any sort.
Of course, that is commonly learned during guild training. What is not taught, and in fact is only learned during apprenticeship and field training, is that the vulgaris commonly looses these teeth during feeding and can regrow them in a single night's rest after a full feeding.
I'll be checking in on you later, Reverend Krauss. Sleep well.
Okay, asswipe. I'll credit that you know a little something about the vulgaris.
I'll even credit that you've got some information that would indicate that you've spent some quality time with the big uglies. I don't think you can find that kind of tidbit on Google.
What I will not believe, however, is that you're a vampyr. I've met my fair share of vamps, and not a single one of them could type. Or, for that matter, string together complex sentences with, y'know, clauses and stuff.
So... who the fuck are you?
Reverend Krauss,
So you seek an identity to go along with the information do you? Suffice it to say that I am not one given to such casual mistakes. For now, this game amuses me as any other. We shall see how adept a player you are.
The common breakdown of the Vampyr, scientifically is the genus Vampyr. Taken in the categories you've provided, by far the most common would be the Vampyr Vulgaris. The most potent (that you've been trained on) is the Vampyr Vrykolakas.
I've alrady made the assumption that the Vampyr Vulgaris is a mistake. Albeit one that has had far reaching consequences beyond the sight of its original creators.
If you check your references (p. 287, para. 3, "If legend is to be believed..."(You know what reference I'm speaking of)), you'll discover that those points glossed over in your mercifully short training may begin to take on more relevance in the face of the following information.
If you will look up an old friend of mine. His address is 557 Hansen Street. Just down the road from you I believe. He can confirm a suspicion or two of yours. Oh...and do be careful Reverend Krauss. While Vulgaris may be in the area, the target himself is a Vampyr (Species omitted. I do like this game) Supernus.
Okay, buddy... whatever you say.
Vampyrus supernus, eh? So that'd be, what, a flying vampyr, I guess? Right. A new species, huh? One i've never heard of? Got it.
You know what I think?
I think that computer time's about up for you and it's time for the nice men to come give you your lithium.
Check++
Hello dhkrauss,
I was doing some research and came across your More questions. blog. I'm not sure i found everything I needed exactly about dog training book however I still found your information very useful so I thought I would say thanks for the info.
Hello dhkrauss,
I was doing some research and came across your More questions. blog. I'm not sure i found everything I needed exactly about dog training technique however I still found your information very useful so I thought I would say thanks for the info.
hay krauss you asswipe. maybe you shouldn't dismiss alaric's posts, i'd watch my back if i were you, just because you've never heard of a vampyr species doesn't mean it doesn't exist. you don't know everything there is about them!! oh yeah, maybe YOU should listen out for the white van with square wheels coming down the road to give you YOUR lithium injection you dick
Mavis
Post a Comment