Theories of origin

I have never been one for theories. I don't care how the damn things got here; I just want them dead. So unless a theory can provide me with some good, solid extermination tips, it can kiss my ass.

But some people like theories. So here you go.

1. Biblical Figures - I'm going to lump these together 'cause there's a bunch of them. Biblical origin theories suggest that one biblical figure or another was turned into a vampyr as a punishment. These figures include Cain, Judas, Pilate, Caiaphus, and others. They also include Lilith, which is not strictly from the Bible, but whatever. The theory goes that this newly punished vampyr was cursed to walk eternally, drink blood for sustenance, and be the object of God's everlasting wrath (hence the cruciphobia).


2. Vlad the Impaler. Theorists often disagree on the identity of the historical figure in this model, but Vlad is as good a hypothetical as possible. The "Vlad" theory is that someone - probably a brutal ruler - made a pact with the Devil to gain the power needed to overcome his enemies. The blessing - and the curse - was vampirism. This is one of the more reasonable theories.


3. Virus. This is a stupid theory, and you are stupid if you believe it. This theory suggests that vampirism is the result of some hemetological condition that a) makes people drink blood, and b) causes photo-sensitivity.
   
   That is, if you call bursting into flames in direct sunlight "photo-sensitivity."
   
   Nobody who has actually seen a vampyr will back this theory. The allergy to silver, the necessity for consecrated weaponry, the whole burning in sunlight thing - all of these suggest something much more deeply supernatural than a virus.
   
   A virus. Please.


4. Demonic possession - Some theorists believe that vampyrs are created when a blood-borne demon enters the system. They suggest that a single demon with a blood-lust merged with a human and that parts of that demon's essence are transmitted through blood, infecting the new individual with that demon's will. This theory would explain why some vampyr packs seem to operate with a rudimentary hive mind. It would also explain why the older, more concentrated vampyrs - such as the vrykolakas - have more stamina and power than the younger, more diluted caste. This theory is not mutually exclusive, and has been combined with theories #1 and #2 by some forward-thinking mythologists.


5. Fallen Angels - According to the Apocrypha, over 1/3 of the heavenly host fell with Lucifer. Some of those fallen angels may have landed on earth and fallen into madness, without God's love or Lucifer's charm to direct them. Then they may have started sucking blood and hanging out in crypts. Sound stupid? That's because it is.


6. Eternal - One of the more prevalent theories is that the vampyr has always been here, a product of the dark void that existed before the earth and mankind did. Certainly there are reports of vampyr-like entities that pre-date Christianity. Perhaps the modern vampyr has evolved from more primitive vampiric species. Ah, theology and evolution together at last.